Latin Class
by Kiashi Sirius
Summary: Volkner and Riley go to Latin class, where a single comment from their rather eccentric teacher inspires an improvised drama. VolknerXRiley, one-shot. Please review.


One-Shot. Sorry if they seem a little out of character. Volkner is a Junior in this, by the way.

* * *

The first bell rang, signaling the end of Orchestra. The teacher sheepishly dismissed them after apologizing for forgetting the time. Riley carefully packed his Viola and put his music back in his bag. Then he slung his bag over his shoulder and picked up his Viola case.

On his way out, he smiled and waved at the conductor, who waved back. His next class was…Latin? That was it, Latin. He walked to the Language building and down to room 409. Mr. Rowland, the teacher, wasn't there, but that wasn't unusual.

He picked a random seat in the middle of the room. Even though he was a Sophomore, he'd only been here for two months and still didn't really know anyone well. He had connections, sure, but not in school. There were a couple girls chatting in the back, but he ignored them and got out his Latin book.

"Hey Riley, what's up!?" Riley looked up, and sure enough, it was Volkner. Volkner was a popular kind of guy and was always talking instead of doing his work, a particularly risky thing to do in Rowland's class. He had his electric guitar slung on his back and messenger bag hanging off his shoulder.

"Hey," Riley responded. He smiled cheerfully and waved as Volkner put his stuff down and sat behind him. Volkner's friend, Abdul, sat beside Volkner. The classroom was slowly beginning to fill up.

"Hey, what was the homework for math," Abdul asked Volkner. Volkner shrugged.

"No idea. I wasn't listening. Riley, you know what it is?"

"One second," Riley said. He flipped back a page in his notebook and checked the homework. He had a very strict organization system, burned into him mind by his parents.

"Page 172, problems 1-4," he read.

"Thanks man, I need all the help I can get. I can't believe they put me in an honors class, I suck at math."

"That's what you get for cheating off me last year," Volkner said, unwrapping a lollipop and sticking it in his mouth.

"Can I have one?" Tyson asked, sitting down in front of Abdul.

"No," Volkner said. The sprint bell rang, and Mr. Rowland finally walked into the classroom. He sat down, leaned way back in the chair, propped his feet up on the desk, and started doing whatever it is he did on the computer.

"Aw, c'mon, you've got, like, a bajillion of those things," Tyson said.

"If you want some, go get your own," Volkner told him. The other half of the class quickly walked in and took their seats before the bell rang again. Just as the last girl walked through, the bell rang.

"Alright, all of you sit down and shut up!" Mr. Rowland shouted as he got up from the chair. Volkner was still talking with someone else, put overall, the class quieted down. Riley waited for the assignments to be given.

"You've got handouts 55, 34, and 56, then start translating on page 44. When you get done with that, start on page 49." He paused as most of the class scrambled to write down what he said.

"Board work, page 23 translating. Jessica, you've got one, Melissa's got two, let's see, Derek, you've got three, and try not to screw up too badly this time, okay? Terrence and Samantha, you work on four. The rest of you, get to work! A retarded gerbil could finish handouts 55 and 34 in five minutes, so I expect you to finish it in fifteen! Go!" He sat back down in his chair and turned to the computer.

There was scattered laughter around the room from those who caught the joke, Volkner among them.

"Nice, Rowland," Volkner commented. Rowland chuckled as well.

"See, Volkner gets it. Did anyone else even catch the insult?" Riley heard a few questioning noises. He got the insult the first time and had cracked a smile, but he was too under control to just laugh out loud like the others.

"Look, he said a retarded hamster could finish it in five minutes, right? He said he expects you to do it in fifteen. He thinks you're dumber than the hamster, get it?" Volkner explained with a smirk.

"Maybe twenty for the cackling banshees back there," Rowland started working on the nouns chart, ignoring the conversation going on around him.

"Hey Riley, what are we doing?" Volkner asked a minute or so later.

"These," Riley answered, holding up the worksheet for a moment.

"Yeah, I know, but which ones?" Riley sighed in exasperation.

"55, 56, 34."

"Kay, got it," Volkner said. Riley worked in silence for another minute.

"How do I do this?" Riley let his head fall on the desk with a loud bang. "Uh, you okay man?" Riley sat up straight and turned in his seat so he could face Volkner.

"Fine. Do you know the qui chart?"

"No."

"Okay then, use the grammar section." Riley ended up helping a rather large group of people where Latin was only half the conversation. This is how every class went, with Riley planning to work quietly on his own, but Volkner always dragged him back.

"Hey! Volkner Vortex of Failure! Shut up and do Latin!"

"Sorry Rowland," Riley apologized in a very nonchalant way.

"No, you're fine, you're actually doing Latin. These other guys need to get on track!"

"No, I swear to god I'm doing Latin!" Volkner said defensively.

"Yeah right. Hey, hey! Teen forum is canceled! Now I know we're in public school, but we're going to pretend we're in professional high school, got it!? Now get to work! And Tammy, quit messing with your hair!" He opened a 2-liter bottle of Pepsi and drank some straight from the bottle.

After the period was about halfway over, Rowland got up to check the board work. One of the students got everything right, but the others all had various mistakes. Throughout the whole process, he blamed the democrats for the mess the school system had turned into.

"That was pathetic. What's wrong with you people? Jeez, just how many of you are on drugs? You know, smoking some pot or marijuana between classes?" he asked, miming smoking a pipe.

"Yeah, I get Marijuana fix between 2nd and 3rd, you know?" Volkner joked.

"But wouldn't that interfere with your meth use?" Rowland asked, smirking.

"Nah. I like to switch it up every now and the, you know? Keep my body guessing," Volkner explained.

"Ah, I get it, I get it. Now!" he shouted, dropping a thick Latin book on the desk with a thud. "Turn to page 44, and we'll start with…Riley!"

Mr. Rowland read the first paragraph, which Riley translated with ease, barring one or two errors. When he read the Latin for the next victim,-er, student- he read with a slight accent which the others couldn't place. As the girl translated, stumbling over her words, Rowland corrected her.

"Hey Riley, you take Orchestra?" Volkner asked while Rowland corrected the girl.

"Yes," Riley answered quietly.

"What do you play?"

"Viola."

"Viola?"

"Viola."

"What's a Viola? It looks like a Violin case to me."

"It's like a Violin, but bigger."

"Oh." Pause. "Then why can't they just call it a big Violin?"

"Because it's not a Violin."

"You just said it was!"

"No, I didn't."

"Yes you did!"

"I did not. I said it was _like_ a violin."

"So what's the difference?"

"Violas are bigger, have lower notes, and sound better."

"Right. So it's a big Violin?" Riley sighed again. He knew Volkner was just messing with him and that he knew exactly what a Viola was. Why did Volkner have to mess with _him_?

"Volkner, be quiet," Riley said. He wanted to go back to listening to the translation.

"Just listen, okay? I've been trying to start a music group after school to perform at concerts and stuff. Like with band and orchestra, you know? I've got someone on sax, drums, flute, and cello. I need someone on Violin, so could you ask someone for me? I really need something like this to get into college."

"Are you kidding? I could do any Violin part you need. Violins are overrated."

"You sure about that?" Volkner said.

"Yeah, Violas sound better anyways."

"Perfect, you're in," Volkner said. "Oh, that reminds me, did you see that jeep outside the window where Ms. Heartman was grilling burgers and hot dogs?"

"How do Violas remind you of grilling hot dogs?"

"That's not the point! Did you see it? It was so weird, like, her van was just parked by the window with a grill sticking out of it. What was that about anyways?"

"No idea," Riley answered.

"I wonder if she'd let us grill doughnuts?"

"Wha-Doughnuts? Why doughnuts?"

"Because I like doughnuts. What other reason do I need?"

"Excuse me, but will you two just run away together already or shut up!?" Rowland shouted. The whole class turned to watch them. Riley turned bright red with embarrassment, but Volkner didn't seem bothered by it at all.

"That's a great idea!" Volkner shouted, suddenly standing up.

"Oh god," Riley muttered to himself. Riley could already tell he wasn't going to enjoy what came next. Volkner grabbed his arm and pulled him up out of his seat. The movement was so sudden, he stumbled and nearly fell on top of Volkner.

"Oh Riley," Volkner said, taking one of Riley's hands and holding onto it with both of his. He was being overdramatically romantic, but the mischievous glint in his eyes gave him away.

"I just can't hide it any longer! I'm completely and totally in love with you!" The entire class was laughing, including Mr. Rowland, and Riley was trying his best not to do the same.

"I am so in love with you Riley! Please tell me you feel the same, or I just might not be able to live with myself any longer!" Volkner looked in to Riley's eyes with a barely concealed grin on his face. Riley smirked for a second, deciding to play along. He put on an exaggeratedly lovestruck face, and Volkner looked shocked for a second.

"Oh Volkner, I thought you'd never ask! I've loved you for so long, let's not hide this love any longer! It was meant to be!" Riley could barely contain his laughter. The rest of the class was laughing and watching to see what would happen next.

"Riley, my love, let's run away together!" Volkner said loudly, pulling Riley against him. He held Riley in place with an arm around his waist. Riley blushed, but Volkner continued his speech.

"We can go to Vegas and have hot raw gay sex before we get married!"

"Gay marriage isn't legal in Vegas," someone said through their laughter.

"Then we'll have the hot gay sex in Vegas, get married in Hawaii, and then have more kinky sex!" One kid fell on the floor from laughing so hard. "So Riley, will you marry me!?"

"Yes Volkner! I'll marry you!" Riley shouted, half-laughing. Then Volkner let Riley's upper half fall back, bent over him, and kissed him full on the lips.

Riley stopped laughing from shock. Volkner was still kissing him forcefully, and without thinking about it, Riley started kissing him back. Volkner tilted his head and slipped a little tongue out and into Riley's mouth. There were whoops and catcalls and laughter, but that was all in the background.

They were caught up in French kissing each other, but it couldn't last forever. Volkner reluctantly pulled away after Riley managed to make him moan involuntarily. They both opened their eyes, a little stunned and panting slightly.

Then Riley regained enough awareness to finish the act by pretending to faint. He fell to the ground kind of hard, but he was still stunned, so it didn't hurt.

"Wow, I must be a great kisser," Volkner said, looking down at Riley. Then he shrugged and sat down, leaving Riley laying on the floor and ending the mini-drama.

"Are you just gonna leave him there?" someone asked.

"He'll be fine. Get up Riley!"

"So now you're Jesus too, huh?" Riley commented as he sat up and brushed the dirt off his turtleneck. He got up and sat in his seat, acting like nothing happened at all.

It took a few minutes for the class to calm down enough to do Latin. Unfortunately, Riley was preoccupied. As much as he wanted to focus on Latin instead, all he could think about was how much he wanted Volkner to kiss him again. He had no idea that Volkner was thinking the same thing.

* * *

Okay, first time writing a kissing scene, hope I wasn't too awful. I got the idea in Latin class (obviously) when Mr. Rowland said for the bajillionth time "Go run away with your boyfriend or do Latin." Or something along those lines. This, combined with my habit of doing random exaggerated improv when I have the courage, gave me the idea for this. Some of the lines written here came directly from Latin class, such as the part where they're discussing Volkner's drug abuse. My Latin teacher may have inspired this, but I don't think I'll ever show it to him. He scares me too much O.o


End file.
